Kwagala Ndawula, Grade 9
UWCEA Moshi
Off to the land of new experiences, a place to grow, and a place for self-improvement. I tell myself
The thought of a place where there are no wars with lives to claim a place of something new, exciting, beautiful, and enticing.
I always thought pain came from bullets and knives but this one is like blood rushing through your eyes, each drop burns like acid, you're insides feel like they're pouring out and suddenly you're exposed like the whole world can see all your scars all your mistakes it's when they really see you.
Maybe this move happened so I could discover who I am and what I'm not but the beginning was blurry I thought everything was wrong with me what I wear, what I like what I eat I was picking up every little detail of myself and hating it people would tell me to go back to where you came from! But is it my fault I was forced to flee from a country that was not free from a place where the only thing I've ever known is violence and death, where the screaming was the only language you'd hear and where bodies were the only people you see?
I managed to flee but have never felt free the chains are still wrapped around my wrists and the rope around my neck. The nightmares flashbacks and scars are all signs that will never leave proof that I made it out but also proof a part of me was left there through the days of walking and searching for a place I could call home, a place where I can be safe, and a place where I can start again never would I thought of a place like this.
They called it a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity but what opportunity is given if all are taken because of the colour of my skin or the texture of my hair, where all people see me as a worthless dirty immigrant? I walk to this new place I have to call home grateful that I’m here but still buried under rubble elsewhere.
Maybe that's why I'm weird Maybe that's why I don't fit in because I've never had a place to fit in all along I thought the problem was me but it's this society trying to make us something we're not with all its unpleasant standards, where our skin determines our friends and our parents incomes our futures, it doesn't give us time to think, time to feel, and time to heal.
The thought of a place where there are no wars with lives to claim a place of something new, exciting, beautiful, and enticing.
I always thought pain came from bullets and knives but this one is like blood rushing through your eyes, each drop burns like acid, you're insides feel like they're pouring out and suddenly you're exposed like the whole world can see all your scars all your mistakes it's when they really see you.
Maybe this move happened so I could discover who I am and what I'm not but the beginning was blurry I thought everything was wrong with me what I wear, what I like what I eat I was picking up every little detail of myself and hating it people would tell me to go back to where you came from! But is it my fault I was forced to flee from a country that was not free from a place where the only thing I've ever known is violence and death, where the screaming was the only language you'd hear and where bodies were the only people you see?
I managed to flee but have never felt free the chains are still wrapped around my wrists and the rope around my neck. The nightmares flashbacks and scars are all signs that will never leave proof that I made it out but also proof a part of me was left there through the days of walking and searching for a place I could call home, a place where I can be safe, and a place where I can start again never would I thought of a place like this.
They called it a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity but what opportunity is given if all are taken because of the colour of my skin or the texture of my hair, where all people see me as a worthless dirty immigrant? I walk to this new place I have to call home grateful that I’m here but still buried under rubble elsewhere.
Maybe that's why I'm weird Maybe that's why I don't fit in because I've never had a place to fit in all along I thought the problem was me but it's this society trying to make us something we're not with all its unpleasant standards, where our skin determines our friends and our parents incomes our futures, it doesn't give us time to think, time to feel, and time to heal.
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