Matlala Sefale, Grade 12
UWCSA (Waterford)
Nathan John Feuerstein, also known as NF, is by far my favourite artist. He is an American rapper, singer and songwriter born in Michigan. He has released four studio albums: Moments, Mansion, Perceptions and The Search - which made it to No. 1 on the Billboard Artist 100 chart in 2019 [1].
What makes him admirable is REALness of his music - it is about his real-life experiences - as well as his openness to rap about them, regardless of the deep and personal nature of his experiences which is well portrayed by his music. Not only does his music sound great, with excellent flow, striking wordplay and just overall ingenious lyricism, but it is also deeply relatable for me.
I was first introduced to NF by ‘Let You Down’ in 2017, and I have been a core fan of his since.
Welcome to an interview he has so kindly agreed to have with me…
….
in my mind.
Matlala: Hi, Nathan… Nate … NF … I’m not quite sure which one to call you by, but I guess I’ll just go with Nate if that’s okay with you. I’m so tempted to shout “Hey Nate, how’s life?”
NF: (Chuckles). Sure, you can call me Nate. And since you’ve already asked, (chuckles again) I don’t know, it’s alright. I’ve been dealing with some things like every human being and really didn’t sleep much last night.
Matlala: I’m sorry
Nate: That’s fine. You better stop me before I go through the whole song (laughs).
Matlala: I would actually love that, but unfortunately, we have limited time for this interview. So, to start it off, thank you very much for agreeing to have this interview, it means a lot to me as your fan. It means, even more, considering that you don’t do these kinds of things very often. Which leads me to my first question, do you intentionally evade the press, or does it just happen that a lot of people don’t approach you for interviews?
Nate: Thanks for having me here. Uhm, I wouldn’t say I evade the press, but I do try to stay on the low a bit, just to protect my personal life, you know?
Matlala: I find that pretty ironic considering that your music is very high on the personal scale.
Nate: Yeah, that’s true, but it’s different. The paparazzi finding out where I vacation and who I vacation with, or how much I make and what I do with it, or who my close friends are - that’s different from people listening to my music and finding out that I have mental issues and had a difficult upbringing - that’s also kind of why I don’t have much of a press presence - whatever you need to know about me is in my music. You know, that’s the whole point of real music, it’s who I am. Another reason is that I find interviews to be too shallow for my liking. I wish they could go a little deeper because, you know, I am a pretty deep person. But interviews just only scratch the surface of who I am, and I feel like they could easily lead to misinterpretation of my character since I am such a complex human. I know everyone is complex, but you get what I mean, right?
Matlala: I get that. I don’t know if you ever look yourself up, but obviously millions of people do, and what pops up is mostly what labels you a “Christian rapper”. Do you consider yourself a Christian rapper?
Nate: No. but I guess people consider me that because I rap about God sometimes and my music doesn’t have swear words and all that. I grew up in a Christian home, and I went to church. I also believe that there is a God, but I don’t consider myself a Christian rapper.
Matlala: I have noticed a trend with your music. It’s almost as if each song is a piece of this big, detailed puzzle, and they fit just as perfectly into each other. I assume you do that on purpose, and I think it’s brilliant and unique, and that’s one of the things I love the most about your music. Why do you do that?
Nate: That just sort of happens naturally. I guess it’s because I rap about my life, which is continuous, of course. I also rap about real things, and real things don’t end.
Matlala: That’s right. And it’s real music till the day we die, right?
Nate: Yeah, definitely. That’s what @nfrealmusic is about.
Matlala: On that note of real music, how do you manage to release such personal music and be so real with your vulnerability and struggles in songs that are received by millions of people all over the world?
Nate: It is definitely difficult to put out so much of myself into the world, to people who don’t even know me, people I don’t even know. That’s basically me giving myself to them, and it’s inevitable for them to judge me. It’s scary. But, why do I do it regardless? I mean, I admit it, it is a risk to my mental health, which anyone who listens to my music will already know that it isn’t that great. However, I still make the type of music I make mainly because it helps me cope with everything else. It’s like therapy for me, and knowing that it helps my fans as well is what makes the risk worth it.
Matlala: As a person who is battling mental health issues as evidenced by a lot of your lyrics, what is the process of releasing an album or even a single like for you? How do you cope with it or prepare for it mentally so that it does not take much of a toll on your mental health as you have already mentioned that it is a challenging experience?
Nate: I’m quite the pessimist if I do say so myself (chuckles); so before I drop an album or anything, I just sort of program my mind to expect the worst, so then whatever the outcome is, it either meets or beats my expectation.
Matlala: That’s a very interesting take on life. To be honest, I think your whole outlook on life is very inspirational. Overcoming the challenges of your mom being an addict, her passing away when you were still quite young, abuse, mental health issues … you are quite the inspiration. I would say ‘How could you leave us’ is the most emotional of your songs; you really let yourself be vulnerable on that one. Honestly, the part where you start crying always gets me, and on my happy days, I don’t play it until the end. Do you still feel the same way about your mother?
Nate: I wrote that song about five years ago; and my mom… she died when I was 18, so obviously I have grown significantly from the person I was when she died and when I wrote the song, physically, mentally and emotionally. And I’ve been able to deal with some of the emotions I had back then through music and more recently through therapy, and I have been able to move past them. But I’m not perfect, so of course, there are still some that I haven’t gotten rid of. I have definitely gained more compassion for her, you know. She went through a lot of hardships, and I can say I am closer to forgiving her now than I was when I recorded the song, but there are still some emotions that I am yet to deal with …
Matlala: In INTRO III, you touch a lot on your fears; and as someone who holds my fair share of fears myself, that song meant a lot to me. It was helpful to hear that I’m not the only person who is trying to become a better person by getting rid of my fear. In the song, you hint at having a fear of losing your fear because you think that might make you irrelevant, does that fear still exist?
Nate: Which fear? The fear of losing the fear, or the fear itself?
Matlala: Uhm… both?
Nate: Looking back at the person I was when I made Perceptions and looking at myself now, I’ve certainly changed. I go to therapy now (laughs). I had never thought I would do that; the only therapy I ever knew was rap. Some fears have subsided. But, my music has always been real; so whether I rap about one fear or the other, as long as it’s real to me, that’s all that matters.
Matlala: You are the most underrated artist of our generation, and I think you also know this as you often refer to yourself as an outcast. You even have a song titled ‘Outcast’. Does it bother you that you are so underrated, and would you want to get more into the spotlight?
Nate: It doesn’t bother me at all actually. In fact, I prefer it that way. I mean, it’s only realistic that not everybody likes my music.
Matlala: Would you say your music has a specific target audience?
Nate: Not necessarily. I mean … anyone who wants to can listen to it. But, I guess not everyone who listens to it will like it. I mention in ‘Therapy Session’ that some people hate my music and say it’s violent, while there are some like you who like it and say it has helped them. From this, I can say the latter would be my target audience.
Matlala: I very often have a song marathon of your music from back when you were starting out to the more recent single ‘Paid My Dues’. Do you ever do anything of that sort?
Nate: I do, but only once in a while. It’s quite interesting actually. It’s like going through a journal. It reminds me of whom I was back then and the process that made me who I am now. I try not to listen to it on a marathon as you say you do, and that’s because I judge myself and my craft a lot. And, you know, I have OCD[2], and so I tend to get obsessive about how I sound in songs or my lyrics and a lot of things, so it’s better to just not dwell too much on my past music. Also, because doing so would also be dwelling on my actual past.
Matlala: Unfortunately, that brings us to the end of this interview. Thank you so much for making time for it. I know you are busy with making music, running your online store with your wife and a lot of other things. It was an honour chatting with you. Looking forward to that new music you’re working on.
Nate: I would have been worried you’re not a core fan if you hadn’t said that (laughs). Seems like it has become some kind of an anthem for my fans. It hasn’t even been that long since I dropped ‘Paid My Dues’. It was a pleasure being here. Stay REAL…
What makes him admirable is REALness of his music - it is about his real-life experiences - as well as his openness to rap about them, regardless of the deep and personal nature of his experiences which is well portrayed by his music. Not only does his music sound great, with excellent flow, striking wordplay and just overall ingenious lyricism, but it is also deeply relatable for me.
I was first introduced to NF by ‘Let You Down’ in 2017, and I have been a core fan of his since.
Welcome to an interview he has so kindly agreed to have with me…
….
in my mind.
Matlala: Hi, Nathan… Nate … NF … I’m not quite sure which one to call you by, but I guess I’ll just go with Nate if that’s okay with you. I’m so tempted to shout “Hey Nate, how’s life?”
NF: (Chuckles). Sure, you can call me Nate. And since you’ve already asked, (chuckles again) I don’t know, it’s alright. I’ve been dealing with some things like every human being and really didn’t sleep much last night.
Matlala: I’m sorry
Nate: That’s fine. You better stop me before I go through the whole song (laughs).
Matlala: I would actually love that, but unfortunately, we have limited time for this interview. So, to start it off, thank you very much for agreeing to have this interview, it means a lot to me as your fan. It means, even more, considering that you don’t do these kinds of things very often. Which leads me to my first question, do you intentionally evade the press, or does it just happen that a lot of people don’t approach you for interviews?
Nate: Thanks for having me here. Uhm, I wouldn’t say I evade the press, but I do try to stay on the low a bit, just to protect my personal life, you know?
Matlala: I find that pretty ironic considering that your music is very high on the personal scale.
Nate: Yeah, that’s true, but it’s different. The paparazzi finding out where I vacation and who I vacation with, or how much I make and what I do with it, or who my close friends are - that’s different from people listening to my music and finding out that I have mental issues and had a difficult upbringing - that’s also kind of why I don’t have much of a press presence - whatever you need to know about me is in my music. You know, that’s the whole point of real music, it’s who I am. Another reason is that I find interviews to be too shallow for my liking. I wish they could go a little deeper because, you know, I am a pretty deep person. But interviews just only scratch the surface of who I am, and I feel like they could easily lead to misinterpretation of my character since I am such a complex human. I know everyone is complex, but you get what I mean, right?
Matlala: I get that. I don’t know if you ever look yourself up, but obviously millions of people do, and what pops up is mostly what labels you a “Christian rapper”. Do you consider yourself a Christian rapper?
Nate: No. but I guess people consider me that because I rap about God sometimes and my music doesn’t have swear words and all that. I grew up in a Christian home, and I went to church. I also believe that there is a God, but I don’t consider myself a Christian rapper.
Matlala: I have noticed a trend with your music. It’s almost as if each song is a piece of this big, detailed puzzle, and they fit just as perfectly into each other. I assume you do that on purpose, and I think it’s brilliant and unique, and that’s one of the things I love the most about your music. Why do you do that?
Nate: That just sort of happens naturally. I guess it’s because I rap about my life, which is continuous, of course. I also rap about real things, and real things don’t end.
Matlala: That’s right. And it’s real music till the day we die, right?
Nate: Yeah, definitely. That’s what @nfrealmusic is about.
Matlala: On that note of real music, how do you manage to release such personal music and be so real with your vulnerability and struggles in songs that are received by millions of people all over the world?
Nate: It is definitely difficult to put out so much of myself into the world, to people who don’t even know me, people I don’t even know. That’s basically me giving myself to them, and it’s inevitable for them to judge me. It’s scary. But, why do I do it regardless? I mean, I admit it, it is a risk to my mental health, which anyone who listens to my music will already know that it isn’t that great. However, I still make the type of music I make mainly because it helps me cope with everything else. It’s like therapy for me, and knowing that it helps my fans as well is what makes the risk worth it.
Matlala: As a person who is battling mental health issues as evidenced by a lot of your lyrics, what is the process of releasing an album or even a single like for you? How do you cope with it or prepare for it mentally so that it does not take much of a toll on your mental health as you have already mentioned that it is a challenging experience?
Nate: I’m quite the pessimist if I do say so myself (chuckles); so before I drop an album or anything, I just sort of program my mind to expect the worst, so then whatever the outcome is, it either meets or beats my expectation.
Matlala: That’s a very interesting take on life. To be honest, I think your whole outlook on life is very inspirational. Overcoming the challenges of your mom being an addict, her passing away when you were still quite young, abuse, mental health issues … you are quite the inspiration. I would say ‘How could you leave us’ is the most emotional of your songs; you really let yourself be vulnerable on that one. Honestly, the part where you start crying always gets me, and on my happy days, I don’t play it until the end. Do you still feel the same way about your mother?
Nate: I wrote that song about five years ago; and my mom… she died when I was 18, so obviously I have grown significantly from the person I was when she died and when I wrote the song, physically, mentally and emotionally. And I’ve been able to deal with some of the emotions I had back then through music and more recently through therapy, and I have been able to move past them. But I’m not perfect, so of course, there are still some that I haven’t gotten rid of. I have definitely gained more compassion for her, you know. She went through a lot of hardships, and I can say I am closer to forgiving her now than I was when I recorded the song, but there are still some emotions that I am yet to deal with …
Matlala: In INTRO III, you touch a lot on your fears; and as someone who holds my fair share of fears myself, that song meant a lot to me. It was helpful to hear that I’m not the only person who is trying to become a better person by getting rid of my fear. In the song, you hint at having a fear of losing your fear because you think that might make you irrelevant, does that fear still exist?
Nate: Which fear? The fear of losing the fear, or the fear itself?
Matlala: Uhm… both?
Nate: Looking back at the person I was when I made Perceptions and looking at myself now, I’ve certainly changed. I go to therapy now (laughs). I had never thought I would do that; the only therapy I ever knew was rap. Some fears have subsided. But, my music has always been real; so whether I rap about one fear or the other, as long as it’s real to me, that’s all that matters.
Matlala: You are the most underrated artist of our generation, and I think you also know this as you often refer to yourself as an outcast. You even have a song titled ‘Outcast’. Does it bother you that you are so underrated, and would you want to get more into the spotlight?
Nate: It doesn’t bother me at all actually. In fact, I prefer it that way. I mean, it’s only realistic that not everybody likes my music.
Matlala: Would you say your music has a specific target audience?
Nate: Not necessarily. I mean … anyone who wants to can listen to it. But, I guess not everyone who listens to it will like it. I mention in ‘Therapy Session’ that some people hate my music and say it’s violent, while there are some like you who like it and say it has helped them. From this, I can say the latter would be my target audience.
Matlala: I very often have a song marathon of your music from back when you were starting out to the more recent single ‘Paid My Dues’. Do you ever do anything of that sort?
Nate: I do, but only once in a while. It’s quite interesting actually. It’s like going through a journal. It reminds me of whom I was back then and the process that made me who I am now. I try not to listen to it on a marathon as you say you do, and that’s because I judge myself and my craft a lot. And, you know, I have OCD[2], and so I tend to get obsessive about how I sound in songs or my lyrics and a lot of things, so it’s better to just not dwell too much on my past music. Also, because doing so would also be dwelling on my actual past.
Matlala: Unfortunately, that brings us to the end of this interview. Thank you so much for making time for it. I know you are busy with making music, running your online store with your wife and a lot of other things. It was an honour chatting with you. Looking forward to that new music you’re working on.
Nate: I would have been worried you’re not a core fan if you hadn’t said that (laughs). Seems like it has become some kind of an anthem for my fans. It hasn’t even been that long since I dropped ‘Paid My Dues’. It was a pleasure being here. Stay REAL…
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